Thursday, September 30, 2010

'Fess Up And Own It!

P. J. Harvey.
To Whom It May Concern,

Dear ana and Ellesee,
Thank you for sighing in. May you find that which you seek!

Currently listening to...

These girls don't fuck around!

One fine day, (yesterday), curious to know the performance of my metabolism, I went in search of a device that could tell me what I wanted to know. I found a free metabolism calculator. I entered the appropriate information, height, weight, age, etc. and clicked on the little button. Thereafter, I checked my pulse to make certain I was actually alive! My metabolism is virtually non-existent. It appears that my metabolic rate is less than half of what it should be. No wonder I'm such a chubby monkey! In fact, all things considered, I should look much, much worse! (Well done, body!)  I was left asking the only question left to ask. The most important question of all... "What have I done?"

I realise now that no matter how appealing it may be to starve myself to the brink of insanity, with my metabolism being in the state that it's in now, there's no way in hell I'll do anything other than increase the damage that I have done. Actual, physical damage. Emotional damage is one thing, but spending the rest of my days physically damaged as well is a concept I cannot bear to contemplate.

Nope, instead,  I'm standing up and taking the blame for this one entirely. All the years of bad habits, crash-dieting, binge eating/drinking, all of this is my fault. I did this to myself. Me. I am the master of my own misery, the maker of my own undesired body. I claim full responsibility, I own this one and now I'm ready to make amends and regain control. The power to change lies within me, no one else. I'm dedicating the rest of my life to restoring my metabolism and repairing the damage that I've done. This is the only way that I will ultimately restore my slender frame as well as my smile! For more on how to boost your metabolism click here and here.

On a more positive note, I'm rather pleased with myself. Despite a)- not feeling like it AT ALL and b)- having an egregious headache, I still went out running last night. Yay me!

Don't we all have days like this?!
Cinnamon Brown.

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